Monday, May 3, 2010

Meet Mr. Chompers…

Though 1000s respectfully admire Mr. Chompers, surprisingly little is known about him. We do know that he was cast in “100 and 1 Dalmatians” as a puppy. He is Yale-educated and a member of secretive Skull and Bones society, along with business leaders, former presidents, and Rin Tin Tin. Mr. Chompers made a fortune inventing a door to fit around the one used by dogs, so humans upright walk into their homes.

Mr. Chompers has agreed to write an occasional column for Mike B. Writes! called Ask Mr. Chompers. Before doing so, he sat (and stayed) for a series of questions, answered through his people.

Occupation – Bon vivant, Raconteur

Marital status – Mr. Chompers keeps his private life private.

Residence – Mr. Chompers winters in St. Bart’s. He summers in his villa in Switzerland.

I stay home to watch – Anything in black and white.

The car I drive – seriously???

Limo and driver – that’s more like… Yes.

The last good book I read – Cujo

The last movie I saw – Mr. Chompers saw Avatar in 3D but struggled keeping the glasses on.

Prized possession – There’s a certain fire hydrant he picked up in the south of France.

Nobody knows I wish I could stop – Sniffing inappropriately.

My fantasy is – Neutering Mike Vick.

Pet peeve – When a human rub its butt on the carpeting.

Someone I’d love to meet – People line up for miles to spend five minutes in Mr. Chompers presence. Next question.

Because you can? – Again, Mr. Chompers keeps his private life private.

Favorite food - …pause

A sunny spot now appears on his oriental rug and Mr. Chompers lays on it. Obviously, he’s grown tiresome of these questions.

Editor's Note - No, he's not my dog.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think I am going to like Mr. Chompers.